Trip Report

Somewhere in Port Aransas Texas, a little bar called Bernie's will never ever be the same.

Where can I start about my adventure? It had all the ingrediants of a bollywood movie. There were cute animals, guns, drugs, romance, dancing, booze, Cops chasing our car,  Country dances, hot motorcycle mamas, poker games, lost cell phones, and stalkers. 

I know... it happened to me but even I do not believe it. 

Here are some highlights:

• Went to a bar called Bernise. Apparently they had live music and senior citizen dance evening. Saw a hot motor cycle mama wearing all leather clothes and gargantial boobs. They were huge! But she looked hot and ready to party! I hope I look that great in my 80s!
• While everyone was dancing country, they played the song Margeritaville. I grabbed my girlfriend and we danced in the middle of the floor. In hind sight, it was a rude thing to do. But I just wanted to dance. My hubby quickly escorted us out of the bar before we would get in trouble.
• Watched the sun set.
• Went to numerous places, had excellent appetizers and a lovely dinner. Excellent seafood!
• I did not want to sleep early so we asked around for a happening spot. And everyone told us to go to Bernise. We were skeptical but we went there anyways. When we walked into the bar, all eyes were upon us! We were the hottest chicks at the bar! I felt like a celebrity! My friend A and I were playing pool. Guys were lining up to buy our drinks. Everyone wanted to play pool with us. Granted I had no idea how to play it and clearly demonstrated it but no one cared. Clearly we were the hottest chicks at the bar! How flattering! What a boost to my ego! I still got it!
• An elderly gentleman bought me a drink. I refused numerous times but then he sent the waitress with a drink. I kept telling him that we were married and our hubbies were in the next room selecting some music but he said, "I just want to play pool with you ladies."
• Meanwhile, two younger guys were sitting at the bar. They came up to us and said," OK ladies, let's play pool." I told them I had no idea how to play but they insisted. The best player was on my team. And we ended up winning! No thanks to me!
• The older guy returned and complained to the guys, "Hey! I was supposed to play pool with them" And the younger guy said, "Sorry Pops. We got them first." OUCH!
• One of the guys came up to us and offered to get us some weed or something stronger. We politely declined. No one ever has made me an offer like that! Another first!
• Then the poker party started. Everyone except me started playing poker. Unfortunately none of us won. It was a free game so it did not matter but still. People were playing like crazy!
• Meanwhile, I lost my iPhone. I went around the bar looking for it. And the elderly guy kept following me around. He wanted to play pool! He kept stalking me wherever I went! I ran back to the poker room and encouraged my hubby to lose all his money so he could help me find the phone.
• When we finally returned to our hotel, I found my phone rather miraculously. Thank God!
• We went to the beach the next day and watched dolphins in the sea. Best moment ever!
• On our way back, my friend A. was already planning the next trip. "I had more adventure in 20 hours than I did last year! Let's do it again! We were the hottest chicks out there!"
• As we were driving back to Austin, a cop car started to drive right next to us. But cops were staring at my friend A. and me. They kept leaning over to get a closer look at us. This went on for about 2-3 minutes then they slowed down. A.'s fiance joked "Look! Even the cops are checking you out. Can't go anywhere with you gals."  Soon the cop car was right behind us and turned the lights on. We were petrified. We had done nothing illegal. But it was strange. We rolled our windows down and the cop walked towards us. He smiled and spoke directly to my friend A. "Hello ladies!!!:):) Just wanted to make sure you were wearing seat belts." And A. said, "Of course we are wearing seat belts officer!" He smiled, gave a mini-salute and said, "Have a wonderful day ladies!" And then said, "You are free to go!" Can you believe that? There was absolutely no reason for him to stop us! My theory is that word got out a couple of very hot chicks were leaving town and the cop simply wanted to check us out.

There. So that's what happened on my trip.Broke numerous hearts. I have a feeling that 10 years later, 2 guys will be nursing a beer at Bernise and saying, "Do you remember the day when those two hot chicks walked into the bar?"

We will be a legend there for sure. 

Flunk!

So I know that my regular readers think that I am this super macho woman. Embodiment of perfection. Flawless. OK. Give me a break. I would like to believe that you think of me that way. Play along with me. OK?

Last weekend, upon my friend's insistence, I bought tickets to do the segway tour of Austin. Segway is like a motorized scooter that you ride and look utterly stupid in. I have no problems looking stupid if I am having fun. And as long as it is legal. While I told my friend that I had absolutely no atheletic abilities and the last time I rode a bike was decades ago, she did not listen. She said it would be easy.

Wrong!

I went there with my hubby and met a bunch of friends. We rented the segways and got training lessons. Everyone else did great. I sucked. When I wanted to go left, I went right. I could not stop the darn thing on demand. Two trainers tried to help me. I endured dirty glances form other people in the group who could not understand why someone could not do something as easy as that and was slowing them down. I was mortified.

And then I heard the most wonderful statement in a long time. 

Trainer: I am sorry but we must ask you to stay behind. We cannot take you with us.

Me: So I flunked this?

Trainer: It is not you. It is a liability issue.

Me: Thanks so much! What took you so long to decide that I am not capable of riding this darn stupid thing? And can I have a refund please?

So I was stuck in downtown for 2 and1/2 hours while my friends went their happy ways on the tour. I was so relieved that they left me behind. Which is not bad if you have your camera with you. I spent the time taking photos of downtown and the Capitol of Texas. When they called me to tell me the thingie was over and to meet them, I was almost disappointed. I had so much fun walking around and taking the photos.

Here is one of the Capitol of Texas.

Questions:

• Have you ever flunked at something and been really relieved?
• Do you love me less now that you know that I am not a super woman?