Painting 101

So you've never painted in life and think you can't. Stop right there. If I can paint, so can you. I never thought I could do it until my friend Mary Gatling encouraged me to do it. Many, many thanks for that. She not only encouraged me to do this, but also showed me painting techniques. My life will never be the same again and I will be eternally greatful.

Here is how I painted with a cheese knife and a chop stick...

1. On a canvas, draw some shapes using a charcoal pencil.



2. Gather some supplies. I used acrylic paint, a cheese knife and a chop stick. No brushes were used in this painting.





3. With the cheese knife, start filling on the shapes with the paint. Apply a thick layer and don't worry if it drips a little on the canvas.






4. More colors and more dripping. Use only the cheese knife. Don't worry about the dripping. Notice that I am trying to have some balance on my canvas. Also, do not try to make perfect shapes. And feel free to paint outside the lines!


5. More paint and colors. At this point, you may ask yourself, "what the heck am I doing? A 2 year old can do better than this!" Don't worry. Believe in yourself and keep adding paint.



6. All filled in. Doesn't look that great does it? Remember to believe in yourself.



7. Now while the paint is still wet, take out that chop stick and draw lines on the painting. Blend the paint a bit. Also remember to cover any bald canvas spots with your chop stick.




8. Here is what my painting looked like when I was done drawing lines. I propped it on 4 cans and let it dry overnight.




9. The next day, I applied thick acrylic on it. It looks white but once it dries, it becomes transparent and glossy.



10. See? Very cool once it dries.

I learned this technique from a book called Painting Abstracts by Rolina van Vliet. I highly recommend the book.

If you do follow these instructions, I would love to hear from you.

Supplies you'll need:

1 stretched canvas. I recommend getting at least 8 by 11 or a larger size
Charcoal pencil
Acrylic paint. I used white, yellow, red, blue and green
Pallete knife. I used a cheese knife because I was too lazy to go out to buy this.
Chop stick. Or any stick. You could do this with the back of a brush.
Acrylic gloss

Now go paint!

Painting

Here is an unfinished version of one of the canvases I am working on.

When you can't really draw and want to paint, you have to get creative.

I n this one, I applied a base coat of orange. Then I squirted paint on the canvas and mixed it around with the back of a brush.

The mistake I made is that the base coat is not thick enough. That is a common mistake newbies make. They do not use enough paint. So now, I plan on loading up my brush with paint and filling in the areas around the circle. During the process, I will also try to clean up any other mistakes I made. Once it is all dry, I will put some glossy stuff on it and call it done.

Here is another piece I worked on.

Another mistake the newbies make is over-mixing the paint on the palette. When I first started working on this, I had no idea what it would look like. I filled up the center with a shape and once I had painted it, decided that it looked like a flower.

As far as paintings go, these are certainly not awesome. But eh... not bad for my first attempt.

Painting 101

How to create a painting that is most likely to sell for 10,000 dollars.

Caution: Painting on canvas is not for the faint of the heart. It requires a lot of planning, dedication and laser focus on your part.

Before you begin:

1. Plan everything. And procrastinate. If anyone asks, tell them that you are visualizing and harnessing your creativity. Just sit around, watch judge Judy and put off the painting as long as you can.
2. Get some canvas and some really expensive paints. You could take that money and feed a nation but who cares? Creativity is at stake here.
3. Tell everyone that you are not only a photographer, but also a painter. You may never have painted ever in your life, but so what? Believe in yourself. Use terms such as acrylics, media, matte, glazed etc. If some one asks you what exactly you paint, give them an answer that is completely confusing. For example, "I channel my inner cosmic energy and kundalini to use my creativity to create a representation of the mysterious energy that is life. I capture the energy using media like acrylic paint, oils, pigments and bacon fat. In my opinion, that is the only way to obtain world peace." Ha! That will teach them not to mess with you! After that, no one will ever ask you about your paintings. Trust me on that one.
4. When you go shopping for paint supplies, refuse to buy the basics like an easel, a paint bucket etc. When your good friend, who is doing you a favor by showing you the ropes suggests you buy a kit, complain loudly. Whine a lot. "You are making me spend too much money!"
5. Tell your family or whoever you are living with that you are about to embark on an artistic journey. You are not to be disturbed because you are harnessing your creativity. You are going to paint. And you can't do dishes anymore for at least a month since you have to preserve your hands and your creativity.
6. By now, almost everyone you know should have stopped talking to you. Good. Now you are a true recluse artist and ready to begin.

To create a painting:

1. Since you refused to buy an easel, spread an old rug on the floor and layer it with newspapers.
   
2. Grab a snack.
3. Get your canvas, your paints and your brushes and lay them on the carpet.
4. Open a bottle of wine and have some.
5. Watch a movie.
6. Take canvas number one and apply a base coat of an acrylic paint to it.
   
7. Set it to dry and go grab another snack.
8. Surf the net and remember that you were supposed to clean the brush.
   
9. Run and grab your brush, pour some paint cleaner in a plastic cup and soak your brush.
10. Pour another glass of wine and surf the net.
11. In about ten minutes, go to check on your brush.
    
12. Pick up the plastic cup which has now melted into putty and clean up the paint cleaner from the counter. No one ever told you not to put the paint cleaner in a plastic cup.
    
13. Sigh.
14. Take a nap.
15. Wake up and find your long lost family. Tell them, "Guess what I did today? I painted AND cleaned up the kitchen counter."

Trust me. They will be thrilled for you.