Friday, September 5, 2008

Dear SW







I received this email recently from an avid fan. I decided to respond on the blog. Perhaps you can also provide some advice

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Hi!!!!

My name is Julie and I am 16 years old. I read your blog every single day and think that you are very very smart and cool. I need some advice about my problem. I have no one I can ask.

I want to get married to my boyfriend but my parents hate him. They think that just because he is 10 years older than me, he is a bad person. But he is really not. He is way cool. We are madly in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to have lots of kids and be a stay at home mommy. I don't see any point of finishing high school. My boyfriend loves this idea and wants to get married at Christmas. So exciting!

The problem is that my parents hate him and have forbidden me to see him. They want me to finish high school and then maybe even go to college. I don't want to hurt my parents but I love my boyfriend. How can I convince my parents that he is cool?

Can I call you SW instead of Scriber's Web? Scriber's Web is too hard to type.


An Avid Reader!




Julie


Dear Avid Reader,

First of all, it perplexes me that out all the blogs in the world, you would chose mine. There are so many good ones out there. The fact that you'd rather seek my advice rather than Dear Margo tells me that you have a problem. You are trusting the wrong people. Never ever ask a blogger for advice about real issues. They will simply turn the question into a humor column. You'll just be fodder! And asking a blogger who posts photos, silly stories, and has a blog entry that says "Today I ate ├ęclair's" is simply stupid. Now that we have established that, let's move along.

For God's sake! You are only 16. It is a tad too early for ever afters. You may think you are a grown up but you are just a child.

Your parents seem too nice. If you were my daughter, I would be chasing your boyfriend with a BB Gun. Or something bigger.

Listen to your parents. Your boyfriend sounds like a creep. He has no business dating or proposing to a 16 year old girl. If he really loved you, he would wait for you. I bet your parents told you that already.

Don't quit school. Education is the best gift you can give yourself. You must be able to support yourself financially. You never know when you will have to.

Your parents are too nice. Forbidding you to see him is not good enough. I would lock you up in a room. And chase the boyfriend with a gun and maybe cattle prod.

Lastly, Do not call me SW. Call me Ms. Scribers... Ms. Scriber's Web.



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Ha! I totally made this whole thing up. The "avid reader" should have been your first clue!

Happy Friday!


8 comments:

Ballerina Girl said...

Ha!
Well Ms. Scriber, Ms. Scriber's Web....
good one!
Although I would have to disagree with the "avid reader" part...
I come here often! Doesn't that make me an avid reader ;)
Have a great Friday!
BG

"MoodyBlue" Jodi said...

HA! Crap! You got me again!

That was a good one! I haven't had my coffee yet, maybe I would have guessed it was a joke if I did. (I need something to blame...hehehe)

Happy Friday!

Midwest Mommy said...

lol! You almost had me :-)

mrsbear said...

You're nutty. I was thinking that girl needed a kick in the rear. Were you bored today? ;-)

Coffee Slut said...

You had me going for a minute ....good one! Have a great weekend!

mythopolis said...

Hahahaha! You really had me going. I am a father of 4 and grandfather of 4 more. And so, I am reading along about this young girl's dilemma, and getting more and more steamed, and I am thinking where is that 26 year old jerk guy? And I am thinking, Oh, boy, does this girl need to get her head screwed back on! And, oh, I would like to kick that guy's butt! And then I continue reading Ms Scriber's response, and I'm thinking, yeh, tell it like it is...good job...you oughta have your own column! And I'm still thinking I want to turn that jerk over to the police!!! Oh, me! Now I don't know what to believe. Are you really going on vacation, Ms Scriber? Or is this another mind-bender you are pulling on this hapless reader?

Scriber's Web said...

Ballerina Girl: Glad you liked it. I am just playing around with ideas. And yes you are one of the maybe 3 avid readers of this blog on the planet. Thank you so much for taking time to read my blog and commenting. Please don't stop!

Jodi: Ha ha. I wanted to give harsher advice. But I did not want to offend the readers. Something like "Tell me where you live and I am coming to kick you b***" Maybe that would have been a better clue.

Midwest Mom: Glad you found it funny. I wasn't sure how the piece would work out.

Mrs. Bear: Yep I am nutty. Some days it works and other days it blows up in my face. I just wanted to do something different this day.

Coffee Slut: Glad I got you even if it was for a minute. Is that mean of me?

Mythopolis: Can I please call you Mytho? Just kidding! I know exactly how you feel. I would have dragged my daughter by hair to school. And chased off the boyfriend. Good thing I don't have a daughter. I'd be in jail by now:)

onangelwings said...

Bwwwahhhhh Love it.

Avid reader????

I have none myself. Oh wait, I am absolutely an avid reader of my own blog. Hell, it's my favorite blog.