Saturday, February 20, 2010

Pants on the ground

Well it is 9:30 am on Saturday morning and I already embarrased myself with a pants on the ground situation. Yikes!

For those of you who don't know, one of the American Idol contestants sang the Pants on the ground song that he wrote and it became viral. You can watch it here. It is the most hilarious and witty things I've ever seen on TV. How does one come up with this stuff? How come I never come up with funny/witty stuff like that? I bow to you!

So today I am having some girlfriends over for dinner and cooking some Indian food. I went this morning bright and early to get some groceries. I was wearing gym pants. You know the ones made of soft, spongy, sweatshirt material and have drawstrings...

It was raining and cold. But did I wear boots? Nope. I wore flip flops. And sure enough as I walked into the store avoiding puddles (at least I thought so) the drawstring broke. Apparently I must have stepped in puddles because the bottom of the pants were soaking wet. And since I was wearing the absorbent gym pants, the water was spreading upwards.

Let me take a moment to teach you about gravity my kiddos. Gym pants that are supposed to absorb moisture will do so. And if it is at the bottom of your pants, gravity will suck it. Having no drawstring will make things worse.

But I am a resilient woman. So I gathered up my pants and continued with my shopping. As the water inched upwards. And the pants became heavier and unmanageable. Sure I got a ton of curious glances. But I gave them a haughty look and pretended that this was the new and latest style directly from Paris. The new look. Bottom half of the pants wet and a woman clutching at her pants to keep them on. Viva le France!

I started panicking when I required not one but two hands to keep my pants on. My immediate thought was, "What kind of undies am I wearing?" But I could not remember. My plans were to get some quick groceries. Not a seduction scene for Johnny Depp. I had grabbed whatever was clean.

So I had to ask myself these profound and life-altering questions.

"If my pants do drop, what will people see? Black or pink undies? Thong, bikini cut or grannie style? Can one get arrested for dropping pants accidentally at a grocery story? Surely there are minors around and that is an offense. But who will believe me that it was a sheer accident? And what will my tush look like when it is exposed in public? Will Kim Kardashean be threatened by me? And what the heck undies did I wear today? Should I blog about this?"

Fortunetely for me, I made it with all the groceries out of the store without my pants dropping off. But it was close and life altering.

Question: Tell me kiddos! What are you having for dinner today?


Nikita said...

nonilol...such a close encounter, Scribe :P

Checked out the song. I cant believe how catchy it is! i think m gonna hear it more than once. you, my lady, keep your pants on in the meantime :P

mythopolis said...

I really like the photo! You are so lucky I was not at the grocery store to video you trying to keep your pants up! It would have been on Youtube the very next day! In fact, in case someone else might have caught the drama, I went to Youtube and searched "Lady trying to keep pants on!", but I guess you got away with it! Hmmm...maybe it's on the store's security cameras and will show up on Youtube yet!

croneandbearit said...

Holey Moley woman - you could have caused such a ruckus with ur pants on the ground. Crap on toast, I woulda just stepped outta them and kept right on shopping! LOL It's Saturday and I finished my collage and I'm pooped! So we're having pizza delivered - Woot! :)

Jodi said...

Luckily you weren't wearing "your hat turned sideways." LOL

Hand to God..I had a PB&J sandwich. Natural peanut butter, sugar-free grape jelly on light wheat bread. BORING! Long story why this happened. Let's just say something we bought from dinner at the grocery store *today* went bad. Have to bring it back tomorrow. Blech!

BLOGitse said...

LOL! I know the song!
It's so stupid that it's great!

Next time you should take a camera with you. With your camera attention is not on you but what the hell is she shooting...Take pictures and at the same time you can escape or make a real play...start dancing!
Do something crazy and people are not interested. They leave you alone becaise they think you're one of 'them'...

I tried to help... :)


NicoleB said...

Hilarious :)
I just had that whole thing running as a movie through my brain.
A lot.
Not ;)

If this was Saturday night, we had a Gala dinner, I didn't drop my skirt, nor fell my Boobs out of the cleavage, but I almost managed to drip over the darn cables of the lights and take them all down with me.
Almost ;)

I def. made some female friends with a short dress and cleavage.
British friends.
Uhm... maybe not friends for Life, sigh.....

Hubby liked it :P

Kala said...

At least you kept your pants on. And flipflops? I love them and live in them in the summer.

Postcards from Wildwood said...

Perhaps it's an indication of my cosmopolitan outlook that the thing that worries me most about all this is - You were wearing flip flops? In February? In the middle of Texas Snow Event drama? Then I also thought there might be CCTV footage that could be good for a laugh. In the interests of world joviality I think you should try to get hold of it and post it on YouTube for us!