Earth Day

Happy Earth day! 

May we all find some way of nourishing and returning the gifts that Mother Earth provides to us.

May we learn to respect and love like Mother Earth.

Note to my American readers and American Idol watchers:

Sanjaya was my papaya

Turbon was my bourbon

Nough said.

Pants on the ground

Well it is 9:30 am on Saturday morning and I already embarrased myself with a pants on the ground situation. Yikes!

For those of you who don't know, one of the American Idol contestants sang the Pants on the ground song that he wrote and it became viral. You can watch it here. It is the most hilarious and witty things I've ever seen on TV. How does one come up with this stuff? How come I never come up with funny/witty stuff like that? I bow to you!

So today I am having some girlfriends over for dinner and cooking some Indian food. I went this morning bright and early to get some groceries. I was wearing gym pants. You know the ones made of soft, spongy, sweatshirt material and have drawstrings...

It was raining and cold. But did I wear boots? Nope. I wore flip flops. And sure enough as I walked into the store avoiding puddles (at least I thought so) the drawstring broke. Apparently I must have stepped in puddles because the bottom of the pants were soaking wet. And since I was wearing the absorbent gym pants, the water was spreading upwards.

Let me take a moment to teach you about gravity my kiddos. Gym pants that are supposed to absorb moisture will do so. And if it is at the bottom of your pants, gravity will suck it. Having no drawstring will make things worse.

But I am a resilient woman. So I gathered up my pants and continued with my shopping. As the water inched upwards. And the pants became heavier and unmanageable. Sure I got a ton of curious glances. But I gave them a haughty look and pretended that this was the new and latest style directly from Paris. The new look. Bottom half of the pants wet and a woman clutching at her pants to keep them on. Viva le France!

I started panicking when I required not one but two hands to keep my pants on. My immediate thought was, "What kind of undies am I wearing?" But I could not remember. My plans were to get some quick groceries. Not a seduction scene for Johnny Depp. I had grabbed whatever was clean.

So I had to ask myself these profound and life-altering questions.

"If my pants do drop, what will people see? Black or pink undies? Thong, bikini cut or grannie style? Can one get arrested for dropping pants accidentally at a grocery story? Surely there are minors around and that is an offense. But who will believe me that it was a sheer accident? And what will my tush look like when it is exposed in public? Will Kim Kardashean be threatened by me? And what the heck undies did I wear today? Should I blog about this?"

Fortunetely for me, I made it with all the groceries out of the store without my pants dropping off. But it was close and life altering.

Question: Tell me kiddos! What are you having for dinner today?

Watch it Fly

So today's the day when another new year's resolution goes flying out of the window.

The TV show American Idol starts its season today.

5 months of my life will be utterly wasted.

Every year! Every year!!!! I wow not to watch the show and get sucked in. Before I know it, I am watching, talking, living and breathing it. And soon there are discussions, analysis, pools, etc. etc.

Complete waste of time. I could pick up another hobby. Or do stomach crunches and end up with a flat stomach. Or find world peace.

But no.

I watch American Idol instead.

I am a flawed, flawed, flawed human being. Somebody save me from myself now. But one tip, if you come between me and my AI show, prepare to be crushed.

When temptation is too strong, sometimes it is best to simply resist the urge of resisting and succumb to it as soon as you can. Makes life more easy and fun. And at least I am not having an affair with Da Tiger. Or doing something illegal.

So there. Now that I have justified to myself why I must watch American Idol (AI), I can toss that resolution out of the window and breathe a sigh of relief.

And this year, I have decided to do stomach crunches while I watch the show. Why not? At least I will complain a little less when the show ends in May. And hopefully have a flat stomach.

What about you? Do you have any new year's resolutions and are you sticking to them? And are you going to watch American Idol? Will you miss the drunk Paula?

Never Again

Never ever again will I ever watch American Idol. Never. Period.

Those cold and brutal people toy with my fragile little heart.
They suck me into the drama and the hype.
They insult my intelligence.
They make me angry enough where I am screaming at the TV.
They make roll my eyes constantly till my eyes hurt.
They make me cry.
They really really insult my intelligence.

So don't get me wrong. I loved yesterday's show. And I had a friendly pool going where I picked Kris. So technically I won the pool. But OH. MY. GOD. So much drama!!! Such an emotional roller coaster ride.

Before I begin, I should let you know that I love both Adam and Kris. They both need to buy sun glasses because there is a bright, bright future ahead of them.

But this whole week my heart waged a fierce battle with my brain.

My brain told me this:

If show is rigged, Adam will never win. He is a very hard to manage person. He will not do well singing at Disney in front of young girls. He is uncontrollable. Kris is clearly a clean and cut person. He will do well as an American Idol winner. It has nothing to do with the fact that one is gay and the other is not. It has to do with who will fit better in the cookie cutter role that the producers of AI have created. Adam will probably refuse to sing that ghastly coronation song again. Kris will go with the flow and just do it. Also, the fact that Adam was declared the winner weeks ago does not bring much drama and hype to the show. If Adam won, people would say, "Oh we knew he was going to win all along." It would certainly not attract more people to watch the show next year. Or even vote. If Kris won on the other hand, there would be lots of drama. And hallway conversations. And lots of people would say, "I am going to watch it from the beginning next year. I am going to vote more often next year." So it is in AI's best interest for Kris to win this one.

If the show is not rigged: All Gokey votes would go to Kris. Also, the long time viewers and voters are very mad at the judges and the show for shamelessly pimpimg their favorites. In their eyes, Adam could do no wrong. He could screech and be out of tune but that did not matter. He was Adam! Impartial the judges are not. Meanwhile, Kris could sing his heart out and he could not do any right. The judges always were harsh and mean to him. They treated him very very badly. The long time viewers knew that. And they did not like it. If you don't believe me about the shameless pimping the judges did for their favorites, go to you tube and search for Gokey scream. He was another favorite and supposed to be in top 2. He screamed out a song and the judges LOVED it. It was so horrific that there are ring tones available for purchase. So anyways, a lot of people made fun of the tone deaf judges. So they gravitated towards the one contestant who was always criticized brutally.

My heart did not listen to anything my brain said. I was stressed and tense. My heart knew that no matter who won, both Adam and Kris would have successful careers. But I really wanted Kris to win. He played it very clean. He sang week after week and never let the brutal criticism of the judges phase him out. He did what he did. He sang his heart out. Without screaming. And he never got any respect.

So there you have it. My thoughts about this AI season.

Oye. I am exhausted. No more AI for me next year. Of course my friends know that I've been saying this every year for the last 6-7 years. And I get hooked right back in.

Off I go. Need to purchase some songs on itunes.

A Rant

Here is a photo of a turtle I shot in Mexico a while back.

Here is a rant I have. If you are in a good mood, you might want to skip this part.

So I am super mad at myself. Why you ask?

American Idol. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Every single year, around May, I make a promise to myself never to watch it again.

It robs me of 6 months of my life. It toys with me. It tortures me. It is an annoyingly phony show. And it is all rigged. Watching it makes me want to pull my hair apart with pliers. It makes me want to pound my head on the wall. It makes me want to roll in confectionery sugar and lay around fire ants.

Surely I could find something more productive to do with my time? Stomach crunches? Learn PHP? Sleep? Find a solution to world hunger?

Yet every single year I fail miserably. I hate myself for it. How could I fall for it every single time? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I get sucked into all the hype. I even have friendly bets. My guy is Kris. Yesterday when he was declared safe, I screamed out loudly. It shook the entire house. The next earth shattering scream came when Danny Gokey was safe. I swear I can out-scream him.

I also don't pretend that I am singing when I am actually screaming. If you want to know what I am talking about, go to you tube and search for danny gokey scream. I swear it will give you a heart attack. Awful! And yet he is safe.

My voice is still hoarse this morning. What have I become? Ugh!

So next year, do me a favor. Don't let me watch this faux-show. Lock me up in the basement somewhere. With no access to TV for 6 months.

Oh and leave me a computer with internet access so I can learn PHP. I promise not to read anything about American Idol. Or watch videos on You tube. ;)

Update:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOAKLuAcOXA&NR=1

And the judges said that he got A++ for his efforts.

Maybe next year I will apply for AI? I can so scream!

Birdie Takes a Bath

This is our bird and we call her Birdie. Although she loves to take a bath on her own, once a month, we give her a nice bath.

My hubby takes her to the kitchen sink, holds her and sprays her with water. He also uses a special soap which costs more than my shampoo, conditioner and hair gel all put together. And we have a special spray that we spray after the bath. Don't ask me how much that costs.

Birdie has expensive grooming habits.

Of course she hates this process. She is not in control. But when she takes a bath on her own, she just splish-splashes. It is important that all their feathers get wet and clean or else she will develop a skin infection.

After the bath, we drape her in her towel for a few minutes. She sulks and pouts. But is very calm and content.

And when she is calm and content, it makes all of us living with her happy.

Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Question of the week: Why is Ford sponsoring American Idol? How many jobs do you think could be saved if they did not make those awful commercials? Who buys a car because they watched a commercial on American Idol about it?

Ok. That's more than one question. But it is perplexing to me. Why? Why?

What's Cooking?

What's cooking my bloggie friends?

Is it as hard for you to settle into routine after holidays?

Has January been a crazy month work-wise?

Since almost everyone wants to eat healthy and exercise in January, how is that going?

What kinds of personal projects are you working on?

Are you having blog blah moments?

Are you driving someone crazy? I know I am. I am waiting very impatiently for my lensbabies and keep asking the hubby:

Is it there yet?
Is it there yet?
Is it there yet?
Is it there yet?

Granted I've been told that they will arrive on Friday but one can hope. Right?

I am itching to do another photo shoot. But it will have to wait at least until Sunday. Party on Friday, party on Saturday... It may seem like a glamorous life but all I want to do is go to some new place and take new photos.

So what's cooking in your world?

And how boring was American Idol yesterday?

Unsolicited Phone Calls

Yesterday I was trying to fix dinner frantically when my phone rang. I don't get very many phone calls on my blackberry so I dashed to answer it. And I got a machine saying this to me:

"Hello! This is a very important call. Please hold for the next available customer representative to answer your call. Do not hang up. This is a very important call."

So this pissed me off at so many levels.

• I am on the do not call list. Why are you calling me?

• I need to watch the American Idol in 2 minutes. Go away. I don't even talk to my loved ones during this time.
  

• If this was such an important call, why is a machine calling me? And then putting me on hold? Surely if it was important, a human being would call me. Ugh. I hate deception.

• What the heck does the word important mean? The word important is used so loosely that it has lost its significance. Important! Important! Important!!!! Since when does a machine decide what is important to ME. Surely the world should know that watching American Idol is more important than anything else. The earth could stop spinning but I must watch American Idol before I tackle that important issue.

• Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

So I did what any normal, caring, nice, decent person would do.

I hung up and turned off the ringer. And watched American Idol.

PS: Love the new judge! Wish Paula would drink some more before the show. Love drunk Paula! Simon is going to be in history for being the king of one liners. He is awesome! Randy has just become pathetic. He is so cruel to participants. He laughs at them and then tried to cover his face with a piece of paper. Not nice. Not classy. At least Simon shows a little respect and is direct. He's not passive aggressive. Randy is really annoying me.