Birdie Takes a Bath

This is our bird and we call her Birdie. Although she loves to take a bath on her own, once a month, we give her a nice bath.

My hubby takes her to the kitchen sink, holds her and sprays her with water. He also uses a special soap which costs more than my shampoo, conditioner and hair gel all put together. And we have a special spray that we spray after the bath. Don't ask me how much that costs.

Birdie has expensive grooming habits.

Of course she hates this process. She is not in control. But when she takes a bath on her own, she just splish-splashes. It is important that all their feathers get wet and clean or else she will develop a skin infection.

After the bath, we drape her in her towel for a few minutes. She sulks and pouts. But is very calm and content.

And when she is calm and content, it makes all of us living with her happy.

Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Question of the week: Why is Ford sponsoring American Idol? How many jobs do you think could be saved if they did not make those awful commercials? Who buys a car because they watched a commercial on American Idol about it?

Ok. That's more than one question. But it is perplexing to me. Why? Why?

Splish Splash

Splish splash I am taking a bath.

While the cat is away, the birds get to play.

Hello my name is Birdie and I am going to post today instead of Scriber. Scriber's been partying too hard while her hubby is away and I think she has completely lost it.

But I have my serious doubts if she actually ever had it. I don't know what he sees in her. She sends him away and then acts crazy when he is not around.

The other day, she came home and was running around in the house. She had some really bad Micheal Jackson songs on and was jumping around. At first I thought she was having severe spasms. But then I realized that she was thinking that she was dancing but let me tell you ... that wasn't dancing. And who buys those tacky psychedelic speakers from target for 10 bucks? Get some bose speakers please. And quit the psychedelic stuff. The 70s are so over. Can someone please tell her that? And recommend some good music please!

Talk about the abuse! She is torturing me with her bad music and bad dance moves. Visual assault I say. Do I really have to watch that?

Her hubby comes back soon and then I think I will bite her. Hard. Serves her right.

Meanwhile, can someone please email me the phone number for reporting Pet Abuse?

Birdie

So this is my pet bird. She is a grey monk parakeet. Her name is Birdie and she adopted us.

A few years ago, she flew into our backyard. I stepped out of my house and my neighbors were in my front yard. They were trying to catch this bird. She was barely flying and was landing on cats and dogs to play with them. The cats were trying to eat her but she had no clue. They could tell that it was a pet bird that had escaped and had no outside survival skills. She would become cat food if we did not help. So we did. They caught her.

My neighbor did not want her as a pet. She had 6 cats and 2 dogs. So I volunteered to take her. My neighbor asked me, "Don't you want to ask your hubby? You may have to keep her forever." And I said, "Naah... He'll accept it."

So walked into my house with the bird and said, "Hello! I have a present for you." Ha ha. I am clever sometimes.

My hubby instantly took control of the situation. She was biting everyone but he talked to her and soothed her. He gave her water and some bread. I could tell that he made an instant connection and was in love.

We tried to find the owner but never could. We called her Birdie because we did not want to get emotionally attached to her. We still call her Birdie.

I don't like to keep birds in cages. So we let her roam around. She wasn't really flying. Just hopping around. I did not want to clip her wings. To me, that was inhumane.

Until....

One day my hubby was out of town for work. Birdie decided to fly around. Which was fine until she landed on my younger son's shoulder and latched on to his ear. She was biting him hard and would not let go.

So what's a Mom supposed to do? I grabbed a broom and tried to swat Birdie off. My intention was to use the soft side of the broom to disengage her. I tried. But I ended up hitting my son with the broom. He was not happy. "Mom stop! You are not helping me!"

So essentially, my son was being bitten by Birdie AND I was hitting him with a broom. How many people have I offended by now?

All this happened in a matter of seconds. Birdie got bored with the ear and finally flew off some place else.

So we did what any normal people would do. We all ran upstairs to my bedroom and shut the door.

I made a frantic phone call to my hubby and said, "I don't care what you are doing but you need to come home right now. Birdie is attacking us. But don't worry because we are safe in the bedroom."

Did I get any sympathy from him? Nope. He found the whole situation very funny. Then gave me mathematical numbers about how much we weigh and how much the Birdie weighs. I hate math. Not funny at all.

We were locked up in my bedroom for a couple of hours until my hubby came and subdued Birdie.

He said: I can't believe that you were held hostage by a bird.

I said: Get the wings clipped tomorrow.

Birdie loves my hubby and hates me with vengeance.

I could tell that she came from a very decedent environment. She likes to eat from people's plates. She likes alcohol. Yes she does. Not that we give her any. But she will attack those wine glasses. Here is proof...






No we don't let her eat off our plates or give her alcohol. But that doesn't stop her from attacking our stuff. She demands that she sits on our coffee table when we sit and watch TV. She is a diva.

Some days I ask myself, "How did I end up with such an eccentric bird? Why don't I get to be a diva?"

Cuddle

Birdie likes to cuddle.

If I put my feet on the coffee table, she will run towards me with her open beak and try to attack me.

Here she is hanging out with the love of her life.

Mid-life crisis

Most men are hit by mid-life crisis. Some take it to the extremes. A shiny red convertible car, a new younger woman or something like that.

Meet my husband's girlfriend:






She flew into our back yard a few years ago. We did not want to capture her but she was landing on dogs and playing with cats. Obviously, she could not survive in the wilderness. So my neighbors caught her and I brought her home.

We called her birdie because we were looking for the owners of the bird and did not want to get emotionally attached to it.

Today, we still call her birdie. And she loves my husband. She thinks she is his girlfriend. She makes me look like I am very low maintainence. My husband has to sit right in front of her or else she throws a temper tantrum.

She hates me with a vengence. I am the other woman. I am the one who makes him disappear. When he goes on business trips, she throws vicious tantrums at me. Grabs her water bowl with her beak and throws it at me. Bites me. Chirps harshly at me.

She never bites him. She coos for him and sings for him.

If my husband leaves the room, she chirps and chirps.

If my husband and I sit down to eat dinner or talk, she chirps and chirps.

She is so jealous of me.

Some days, I ask my husband, "Why couldn't you be like other guys and get a young hot mistress? How am I supposed to compete with a bird?"

And Birdie goes CHIRP! CHIRP! CHIRP!