Party Time

So I was home alone yesterday. And I made some exciting plans for myself.

But as soon as I got home, I had to take care of the Birdie who was in a vicious mood. We shall not speak about this anymore.

Then I unloaded the dishwasher, put in a load of laundry and threw out garbage. See how exciting my life is?

Wanting to do something fun, I decided to have a little dance party of one. I made sure that all the curtains and shades were drawn, plugged in my ipod, plugged in my psychedelic speakers and danced.

I danced to Antonio Banderas and Micheal Jackson. I danced like no one was watching me. And hopefully no one was.

It was fun.

At one point, I decided to do the split move. But had to refrain myself. The phone was nowhere in sight. What if I did do the split and could not get up? I would stay undiscovered for days!

So I grabbed the phone as I danced to Beat It. And wanted to do the split again. But good sense prevailed. What if I got stuck in that position? Did I really want to make the phone call that said, "help me! I've fallen and can't get up?" I am too young for that.

And I decided to forgo the split for another day. And danced like no one was watching me.

So there you go. My exciting adventures of being home alone and partying of one.

Don't you wish you had been invited?

No No No!!!

An alert reader brought this to my attention so I had to share this list with you...

Top 10 things not to do at an office holiday party:

• Wear too much makeup. I mean Tammy Fay kinda makeup. This applies to men too. Only rock stars can wear eyeliner.
  
• Wear skimpy clothes and let the girls hang out. For men, unless you are working for a rapper, don't show up wearing rapper clothes with a ton of bing. Nope. Not attractive. Reeks of mid-life crisis.
  
• Carry ziplock bags and stuff it with goodies. Don't pretend it is for the dog. No one will believe you.
• Flirt with a coworker in front of the spouse. I mean how stupid is that?
• Ask anyone if they are pregnant. Including men.
  
• Do the macarena on a table. Period.
  
• Have a make-out session in public when everyone knows you are married with children.
• Puke.
  
• And last but not least, don't use empty wine bottles to fill them up with the beer so you can take it home. Trust me. Someone will catch you. On camera.