Another HOOT

HOOT= Husband Out of Town

So what is with me and the geckos? And why is it that anytime my hubby is out of town, I run into all kinds of problems?

Last weekend, as I was going to water my plants, I noticed a baby gecko was lounging between my patio door. I am terrified of them. So I screamed and shut the door. And locked it. And it remained locked until yesterday.

The gentleman who does my yard work showed up last evening. I unlocked the patio door and explained the situation to him. I wanted him to open the door from outside and verify if the gecko was still stuck in my patio door.

If gecko found, catch it and release far from my house.

If gecko runs into my house, do whatever to remove it from my house.

If no gecko found, chilled beer for everyone.

So he opened the patio door and looked around. And he found nothing. But I spotted it. Sitting right there. And I screamed and screamed and screamed.

He finally saw it and grabbed it and released it. His entire crew was watching this by now. And they all started laughing. And telling me how good the geckos are.

I like geckos just fine. I just don't want them in my house. I am very seriously phobic about them. It has to do with an incident that happened in my childhood that I never ever want to talk about.

All I have to say is that dear geckos. Let's coexist. You in your space and me in mine.

And frankly everyone laughs at me about this. And gives me advice. I know that I have a serious phobia about this. It is irrational. I know that they are good for the earth. I know. I know. But I am terrified of them. And it is not funny to me at all.

So what about you? Do you have an irrational phobia? Something no one understands?

Party Time

So I was home alone yesterday. And I made some exciting plans for myself.

But as soon as I got home, I had to take care of the Birdie who was in a vicious mood. We shall not speak about this anymore.

Then I unloaded the dishwasher, put in a load of laundry and threw out garbage. See how exciting my life is?

Wanting to do something fun, I decided to have a little dance party of one. I made sure that all the curtains and shades were drawn, plugged in my ipod, plugged in my psychedelic speakers and danced.

I danced to Antonio Banderas and Micheal Jackson. I danced like no one was watching me. And hopefully no one was.

It was fun.

At one point, I decided to do the split move. But had to refrain myself. The phone was nowhere in sight. What if I did do the split and could not get up? I would stay undiscovered for days!

So I grabbed the phone as I danced to Beat It. And wanted to do the split again. But good sense prevailed. What if I got stuck in that position? Did I really want to make the phone call that said, "help me! I've fallen and can't get up?" I am too young for that.

And I decided to forgo the split for another day. And danced like no one was watching me.

So there you go. My exciting adventures of being home alone and partying of one.

Don't you wish you had been invited?

HOOT

In the middle of the night
he woke me up to tell me
that he was leaving.
and then he was gone.
and i remained motionless in bed for hours
contemplating my options
and not quiet ready
to face the brutal realities of life.

I was lost and desolate.
How could he do this to me?

Now that he was gone,
who would pay the bills?
who would cook the dinners?
who would fill the gas in my car?
who would deal with the plumber?
How would I survive?

I shed tears in my anguish.
My pain was unbearable.

In desperation, I called him.
Begging him to come back.
But he was brutally cold to me.
And said...
"It is a business trip.
I'll be back in a few days.
You'll be fine.
And take care of the birdie."

I was crushed.
and did not know what to do next.
So I took out my notebook
and my favorite pen
and I began
making party plans.


HOOT= Husband Out Of Town
SAP= Self-absorbed person