Friday, July 18, 2008

At 45…

I’ve always been a girlie girl. I was raised to be a delicate little flower supporting her man by hosting parties and chit-chatting with all kinds of different people. I was raised to be a politician’s wife. Unintentionally… but a product of my environment. I knew how to manage conversations. I knew how to charm and woo people.

So at 45, how did I end up doing what I do? A secure job in Corporate America. A successful career as a technical writer and a manager. Well… I don’t have answers to that. I still struggle trying to suppress the artistic, rebellious, and bohemian in me every single day.

I have 3 very significant men in my life. My husband and my 2 sons. When they asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, I told them I wanted to go deep sea fishing. My choices were plenty. I could have selected massage on the beach, a salt scrub, or a day at the spa. But I wanted to do something where everyone had a great time. It was a milestone for me and we all had accomplished as a family.

So fishing we went. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The fishing trip was fantastic. Everyone caught a fish although they were too small to keep. I pay premium prices to pay smaller fishes but when you go deep sea fishing, the rules are different. We were all happy. Until the accident.

Somehow the fishing hook got entangled in my hand. It pierced my left hand. And the captain had to do some fine operations to pull it out. He said I was a trooper but I felt like a wimp. My entire family felt sorry for me. I had to get a tetanus shot. But it was a valuable lesson for me. And I reflected a lot. Here is what I know today:

Give in to yourself!

If you are not an athletic type, don’t play around with a deep sea fishing hook. IT HURTS. Read a book instead and watch everyone else catch the fish. Ooh and aah at everyone who catches a fish. Everyone loves a compliment and trust me, the captain of the boat will appreciate you for refraining from activities you have no business participating in.
So what you if don’t know how to change the oil in the car? Or change a flat tire? Why do you need to prove to the world that you am a macho woman? Remember to ask for help. Nicely. Even if you are 80, standing by the roadside with a flat tire, call for help. Ask strangers. Everyone wants good karma. I know that I’ll be that 80 year old lady striking a fancy pose just so someone stops to change the tire. Even if they stop so other drivers are spared of the visual abuse of a granny with boobs to her knees acting like she is in Madonna’s Vogue video. Bravo to all women who can change a tire. I am sorry if I am letting you down. Moving on with my life, it is best that I accept my limitations.


"MoodyBlue" Jodi said...

You can tell you are a writer!! You tell it in story form. I'm a beginner writer. I'm starting a novel for the third time in my life. I always get 1/3 of the way through.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. The granny/Madonna reference was hysterical!!

By the way, I can change a flat tire. I cannot do any of the other things you listed. The last time I went fishing I nearly took someone's eye out when I tried to cast the lure. Then I hit myself with the hook when I tried it a second time. Plus I'm just so not into worms. Blech! I will follow your advice and ooh and aah and read a book and stay in my safe place. LOL!

Scriber's Web said...

Good for you that you can change a flat tire. I felt bad for years that I could not do certain basic tasks. Like talk to the mechanic. I am such a bimbo when it comes to that. But ask me to disassemble a computer and put it back together, I will do so in record times:)

I am not ever ever fishing again. I'll go.. but only to stand by my men and ooh and aah at them. What was I trying to prove and to whom? I was just trying to be a macho woman when clearly I am not:)

Silly, silly decision. I should stick to being treated like a princess by the 3 men in my life. Why spoil a good thing?

I am curious about your book though. The good thing is that you are resilient and keep trying to tackle a book. What are you obstacles though?

"MoodyBlue" Jodi said...

My obstacles are a number of things. Mostly I get 1/3 of the way through and I'm not "in love" with the characters. I want to change their personality. At that point, it spoils what was already started.

This time I'm going to do it the right way. I'm going to do the whole character outline, the plot, the problem, the climax..the ending. What I did the other two times is for lack of a better way of saying - I just wrote off the cuff. I need to be more structured. I'm going to do it this time. Even if I am never published at least I can say I did it.

I love to write poetry. I was published in an amateur poetry book back in the mid 90s. That was big for me.

This book will be a mix of humor & romantic. Have you ever read Janet Evanovich? I have her style minus the mystery genre. She writes mixed genres too.

I think you are a great writer by the way!