Snow Event!!!

Pants on the ground

Well it is 9:30 am on Saturday morning and I already embarrased myself with a pants on the ground situation. Yikes!

For those of you who don't know, one of the American Idol contestants sang the Pants on the ground song that he wrote and it became viral. You can watch it here. It is the most hilarious and witty things I've ever seen on TV. How does one come up with this stuff? How come I never come up with funny/witty stuff like that? I bow to you!

So today I am having some girlfriends over for dinner and cooking some Indian food. I went this morning bright and early to get some groceries. I was wearing gym pants. You know the ones made of soft, spongy, sweatshirt material and have drawstrings...

It was raining and cold. But did I wear boots? Nope. I wore flip flops. And sure enough as I walked into the store avoiding puddles (at least I thought so) the drawstring broke. Apparently I must have stepped in puddles because the bottom of the pants were soaking wet. And since I was wearing the absorbent gym pants, the water was spreading upwards.

Let me take a moment to teach you about gravity my kiddos. Gym pants that are supposed to absorb moisture will do so. And if it is at the bottom of your pants, gravity will suck it. Having no drawstring will make things worse.

But I am a resilient woman. So I gathered up my pants and continued with my shopping. As the water inched upwards. And the pants became heavier and unmanageable. Sure I got a ton of curious glances. But I gave them a haughty look and pretended that this was the new and latest style directly from Paris. The new look. Bottom half of the pants wet and a woman clutching at her pants to keep them on. Viva le France!

I started panicking when I required not one but two hands to keep my pants on. My immediate thought was, "What kind of undies am I wearing?" But I could not remember. My plans were to get some quick groceries. Not a seduction scene for Johnny Depp. I had grabbed whatever was clean.

So I had to ask myself these profound and life-altering questions.

"If my pants do drop, what will people see? Black or pink undies? Thong, bikini cut or grannie style? Can one get arrested for dropping pants accidentally at a grocery story? Surely there are minors around and that is an offense. But who will believe me that it was a sheer accident? And what will my tush look like when it is exposed in public? Will Kim Kardashean be threatened by me? And what the heck undies did I wear today? Should I blog about this?"

Fortunetely for me, I made it with all the groceries out of the store without my pants dropping off. But it was close and life altering.

Question: Tell me kiddos! What are you having for dinner today?

From Austin

In case you haven't heard, yesterday in Austin, Texas, a plane flew into one of the office buildings. On purpose.

While there are numerous tradegies and travesties going on in this world right now, this one hit home. After all, I could see the smoke from my office. I could smell the smoke and the stench of death on my way back home. He was a software develepor. And that is my world.

The guy was mad at IRS. He was not fond of paying taxes. Well... neither am I or anyone else for that matter. But we do it. I hate needles and hate taking the flue shot but I do it. I hated having to take my little kids for their immunization shots. But I did it. 

Every society and country has its rules. If you don't like it, move out.

But this guy had a vendetta. Allegedly, he had a fight with his wife the previous night. She went to a motel with her daughter to spend the night. She came back in the morning just to see her house exploding. I cannot even imagine what she and her daughter are going through right now. It is unclear if he was the father of the girl. 

So allegedly he set his house on fire, went to a local small airport, got on his plane and flew into a building. What you may not know, in Austin we have a huge IRS building. The building he decided to ram into was just a small office in the building. It certainly wasn't the main IRS office in Austin. Hardly anyone knew that IRS had an office there.

But somehow, he decided to target the small office and the very innocent people who worked there.

The man was sick, sick sick. 

So at least 2 people died due to his madness. And numerous others injured. One of the reason of that many people were saved is that his plane hit the break room. And not many people were in there at that time. At least that's what I've heard.

 My heart goes out to the victim and their families.

Violence against innocent people never solves anything. Never ever ever.

Happy Birthday Son1!

I wish you much happiness, success, and joy. And financial independence!

Hugs!

Call Mom.

xoxo

You complete me...

Happy Valentine's day everyone! 

While I think that Valentine's day is a hallmark created event, I have to let you guys who celebrate it enjoy it. I am more of a high-maintenance kinda gal who does not think that 1 day an year to celebrate love quite cuts it. 

I find it annoying when people make comments such as, "he completes me.".... Seriously? Surely you were a whole person to begin with? If you weren't, you have more serious problems... Definitely.

But today, I decided to put my jaded, cynical stuff aside and decided to ponder upon this. Who and what completes me?

And the answer baffled me. And made my insides turn into jello. It was right there in front of me but I never quite acknowledged it.

So what completes me?

Bacon. Yum, yum bacon. To quote Homer Simpson, "Hmmm.... bacon!!!"

Without bacon, I am nothing.

Question: Who or what completes you?

Collage

Yes I know it is not very pretty or artistic. But this was my first attempt at creating a collage. So I really did not know what the impact of my actions would be. Next time, I'll know better.

As much as I dislike displaying my "bad/cheesy art" on my blog, I am writing this post for numerous bloggy friends.

For Mythos. He has bugged inspired me to create a collage forever. He create beautiful collages for me and we have collaborated on numerous projects. I will never ever be able to repay him for what he has done for me.

For Janice of Postcards from Wildwood. She is an uber talented lady and has an unquenchable thirst for art. She loves to learn and teach and share. She is the reason I participated in the Pay it Forward project. Let's just ignore the fact that I haven't mailed out my gifts yet shall we? I have them ready but they just don't seem good enough. After all, I received this and this.

For Linda at Croneandbearit. The lady is crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I know that she will take this as a compliment. She articulates what I am thinking brilliantly. She is hilarious. I am a crazy fan of hers. She also volunteered to participate in the Pay it Forward project. I am hoping this help her.

So here we go:

Materials:

• Canvas. I like to buy mine at a craft store already framed.
• Paper. Anything will do. Magazines. Hand made paper, gift wraps etc.
• ModPodge. Available at art stores. I guess you can substitute it with glue or a collage glue if you cannot find this. 
• Foam brush.
• Acrylic paint and paint brushes (optional)

Instructions

1. Visualize what you want it to look like and select the paper. I kinda skipped this step as you can tell.
2. Tear up pieces of the paper or cut them.
3. Use the foam brush, stick the paper on it using ModPodge. Apply another layer of Modpodge on it.
4. Paint some shapes on it.

If you want to see some collages from true artists rather than a faux artist like me, visit Amy Silvey's site. She is the one who shared her knowledge about this with me.

Hope you have a fabulous weekend and indulge in creativity today.

Where I go looking for a snowflake with a flashlight...

We have been having a snow event in Austin. It was "expected" to snow on Wednesday, then Thursday and then Friday. So far, nary a snowflake to be found.

Now I know that 90% of my readers are experiencing worst stuff. So I am not expecting any sympathy or pity points. I simply want to make fun of describe what happens in Austin when we have weather like this.... And say woe is me!

So here is what is going on:

At work, we have a few folks come in from out of town. They were warned that weather was going to be bad in Austin. We were going to have rainsleeticesnow. 

The conversation went thus:

Them: "How much snow?"
Us: "Maybe 1/5th inch of snow."
Them: Doubling over laughing.
Us: "You should take this seriously."
Them:  "Seriously? 1/5th an inch? We are macho people and stuff like that does not make news unless at least it is 2 feet of snow."
Us: Le Sigh! "You don't understand. No one here knows what to do when white stuff falls from the sky."


But did they listen? Nope. So they came. And realized that no one in Austin or even Texas knows what to do when white stuff falls from the sky. And they certainly don't understand the ramifications of an anticipated rainsleeticesnow in Texas.


Yesterday on my way to work, I saw not 1 not 2 but 7 accidents. Most of them were fender benders. But there were at least 3-4 cars involved in it. And it is ironic that not even one snow flake befell. Sure it rained. But the anticipation of rainsleeticesnow simply made everything worse. 


The nontexans quickly realized what we meant when we warned them. No one in Austin-Texas knows what to do when white stuff falls from the sky.


The weathermen were hyperventilating. Traffic was horrific. What would take you 30 minutes to commute was taking hour and a half. The grocery stores were jam packed. 10 minutes to pick up milk and hour and a half of standing in line to pay for it.


Since the weathermen had been advising me to keep my camera handy, I stayed up late. And waited and waited. The last time we had flurries in Austin, I had my camera handy. And I took photos. But... the snow flakes were so microscopic that they never showed up on the photo.


For you my lovely readers, I tried and tried. At midnight, I went with a flashlight to look for a lone snowflake. But none was found. Sorry to disappoint you.


I am off to work now. Please send positive thoughts my way so I can deal with the traffic and weather. Austin, Texas has survived yet another snowless snow event.


And if you find a snowflake, send it my way will you please?

Wordless Wednesday

Texting

So yesterday, I was home alone and got an interesting text message.

"Want 2 play today?"

I did not recognize the number but that means nothing. Who knew I was home alone and who would text me? While it was an interesting question, I was busy so I forgot about it and ignored it. This morning I felt a little curious about it. Maybe my friend wanted to come over and paint. Or go shopping together. So I sent a reply:

"Who is this?"

I got a quick response:

"Wrong number I texted. Sorry!"

Well... I'll be a monkey's aunt. How rude!

Question: Do you ever get text messages that are intended for someone else? Any funny ones? Scandalous ones? Do tell!

A love letter...

Dear Hubby,

While you were gone, I cleaned the fridge. I spent about 4 hours dismanteling and scrubbing every piece.

Doesn't it look lovely?

One minor problem. I can't figure out where these pieces go...

Can we expediate our plans to get a new fridge?

Much Love!

Wifey

Question for readers: Have you ever disassembled something and found a few extra pieces? What would you do? Please answer the multiple choice question below:

a. Run away with Johny Depp.

b. Run away with Uma T.

c. Throw away the pieces discreetly and pretend they never existed.

d. Take a nap.

e. Something else that you feel compelled to write a 500 word essay about.


Please be honest!!! No one is reading my blog. No one will know.This  I promise you.

This and that

OK so I know I have declared that this month I will blog about love but what the heck. I can't believe how stupid I was to pick love as the theme and on day 5 running out of materials.  Let's talk about something else today.

Happy Friday y'all! Anyone have exciting plans this weekend?

• My boys are coming into town this weekend. But they are coming for work so will be staying in a hotel downtown. They are both on a debate team and have a tournament. I am hoping to see them at some point.

 

• Job market in Austin is hopping. Yesterday I got a frantic IM from a friend of mine who wanted to hire me right away. I am happy where I am so I said no and pointed him in another direction. A friend of mine is looking for a job and I IMed her. Within a minute, I had them both IMing each other. Aaaah... a match made in heaven. I am such a good matchmaker! My good karma for the day was done. May the powers that be forgive me for using IM as a verb. Once an english major, always an english major. Le Sigh.

•  In other exciting news, my encaustic pieces are in demand! I have yet to sell anything but keep getting invited for shows. It is exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. 

So what are your plans this weekend? Anything exciting? 

Dreams

He wishes for the cloths of heaven

William Butler Yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with gold and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Question: What is your favorite poem? You know something that punches your heart?

Love is...

a window.

With love

When I was a little girl, my Mom always decorated food in a unique way. We never had a salad. It was always an animal, a smiley face or something equally bizarre. She worked for hours on simply the presentation of food.

We never had a slice of apple. It was always a mouse or a flower. Grated carrots for a red-headed girl, carrot noses, green onion chopped and curled up for eye lashes, radishes for earrings, and the list can go on and on. When I was young, I thought that it was something all Moms did. But when friends started coming over and giving me weird looks, I started getting embarrassed.

I begged her to cook normal and she would always laugh it off. She told me that whatever you do in life, do it with love and passion. And all the happiness would certainly follow. I simply rolled my eyes.


I went to a restaurant for dinner the other day with my hubby and they served us this after dinner. I choked up. I had long forgotten those salads and fruit that my Mom served to me. I mean I remembered but I had tucked it away somewhere.

So I want to say a toast today. And say, whatever you do today, do it with love and passion.

Question: Who is your current movie star crush? And if you had a date with this person what would you do? What is your fantasy?

My answer: Johnny Depp. Swoon... After swooning, I'd like to make him a fabulous dinner. He would swoon next because he would love my cooking. Then he would whisk me away to his private island to be his personal Island Chef. My boys would be the soux chefs and my hubby would make sure that I never ever ever have to balance a check book again.

So what is your fantasy? 

And what do you really love to do passionately and with love? 

Love is not a rainbow

Love. That's what its all about.

This month, I am dedicating my blog to love. Yes this cold, cynical, brutal, analytical, bitter heart of mine is going to focus on love. After all, that's what life is about. 

Love comes in all kinds of shapes and sorts. And it is really not just romantic love that counts. There are all kinds of love. Out of all the emotions humans feel, I think love is the most powerful feeling. It can invoke a whole range of other emotions. May the powers that be have mercy on us and guide us.

Happiness, sadness, angst, passion, lust, jealousy, fear, loneliness, unhappiness, pride, passion, joy, gut wrenching pain, heart break, surprise, shock, awe, butterflies in the tummy, pleasure, disappointment, heart break... I could go on and on.

And love is a spectrum of colors. Love is not a rainbow. While it may have red, yellow and orange, it also has dark colors to it. There are blacks and grays. But then there are also hues of silver and gold.

Love is what makes you want to throw logic out of the window. So you make decisions with your heart and not your brain. Matters of the heart. Consequences be damned.

But ultimately, love is what its all about. Nothing matters if you don't have a loved one to share it with.

Question: Have you ever had a crazy crush? And did you do anything crazy for that crush?

My answer: I once stood one 1 leg in a yoga position for 1 hour praying that the boy I had a huge crush on would notice me and love me. I was 15. And he never noticed.