Job Offer

I recently got a job offer that I thought I would share with you...

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Dear Scriber's Web,

Of course you probably don't know this since I prefer to remain anonymous and work through middle men, but I am the one, in fact, who just acquired your company. Of course, I want to keep you with the company, but I expect increased productivity in the following areas:

1. Painting

2. Photography

3. Blogging

Of course a happy worker is a productive worker, so I have expanded your benefit package to include a pampering allowance. Shopping for shoes is also a company write-off, so I hope you will enjoy that as well. I am also closing a deal with a gourmet catering company, so that you and other employees can have delicious food on demand. Lunch time begins whenever you are hungry and lasts until you have taken a nap and feel ready to return to work. Need a vacation? The new company phones will have a speed dial feature which allows you to request such at the press of a button. All requests will be honored in a prompt manner, and depending on demand volume, most vacations can begin in as little as 3 minutes. There will be no obnoxious muzak, if you are put on hold. Instead, you will be linked to a travel agency and can begin to make arrangements.

We hope our little improvements to the workplace will make your life more comfortable and productive.

Sincerely, Dan's Myth
Executive Director

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It sounds tempting but there is no mention of a full time beautician on site. That may be a deal breaker. What do you say?