Drive Home

Since some folks have posted photos of their daily walks, I figured I would take a photo of my daily commute. This is the traffic I face going back home from work. Notice that all the cars are at a complete stop which gives me an opportunity to take photos. Also notice the road going in the opposite direction. Completely empty!

When I first started working there, I was excited about the drive. It is one of the most scenic roads in Austin. There are cliffs and a beautiful bridge over the Colorado river and hills. Sometimes when it rains heavily, there are little waterfalls on the cliffs. Often there are low clouds over the bridge and you drive through them. Sounds do so relaxing and wonderful. Right?

Little did I know about the drivers on that road. They are maniacs. Here are some things you should know about this road:

• Shoulder is just another lane. You can get on the shoulder anytime you are in a hurry and drive 80 miles an hour to pass everyone. Your time is always more valuable than theirs. Only the meek stay stuck in traffic. And I am proud to be meek in this regard.

• The minute you give a right turn signal, whoever is behind you will speed up and inch closer and closer to your car. I can always tell whether they flossed that day or not.

• Big cars are everywhere around you. Suburbans. Big Macho Pickup trucks. And they want you out of their way! They know how to run over your car and are not afraid to do it. Doesn't matter if you have nowhere to go. That is just your personal problem.
  

• Gotto be on the phone! Everyone is always on the phone. In Austin, we don't have to use a hands free phone so no one uses it. Extra points if you can drive, talk on the phone AND groom yourself. I am not being a sexist here. I have seen women putting makeup on. I have seen men shaving, tweezing eyebrows, and lathering their faces with stuff.
  

• It doesn't matter if the traffic is at a complete halt. You must drive very fast and slam your breaks at the very last minute. So you give a few heart attacks to the folks standing still. What's your point?

• Traffic goes somehow thus. Stop. Wait. Stop. Wait. Speed, Speed, Speed, Speed, Speed! Slam breaks. Rinse and repeat.

So I'm off to face my morning commute now. You may think that I am passing through clouds, or passing by waterfalls or enjoying the scenic views. But the fact is that I am praying hard that I make it without being run over.