Sunday, May 17, 2009
Hello there! I am back and I missed everyone!
So the dark computerless phase in my life is finally over for now. I have my laptop back and it is no longer accessing naughty websites unbeknownsed to me. It is being good. While I did not lose any data, I did lose a ton of my applications so now have to reinstall everything. It is bad but I am so happy to have my laptop back. I think I fared rather well without a personal computer but my family kept telling me that I looked lost without it. I looked like a sad little lost and helpless puppy trying to put on a brave front. They felt sorry for me.
During this dark phase, I did a lot of contemplating. Why am I so addicted to da darn Internets? Why must I write a blog? Why? Why?
Anyways. I'll spare you the drama. Instead I have a top 10 list. Things you can do if you ever have to go through this phase.
1. Curl up in fetal position and cry like a baby. Very cathartic experience.
2. Watch the shopping network on TV and buy random and ridiculous stuff. Keep the box it arrived in. If you don't like it, you can always pass it on to relatives at Christmas.
3. Answer solicitors calls and ask them all kinds of personal questions. How is your love life? How was your childhood? Were you ever abused as a child? Chances are that they will hang up on you but don't worry. Another solicitor will call you soon.
4. Send hand written thank you notes to everyone. So what if you haven't seen them in ages? Just come up with random things and thank them.
5. Start painting a room. Decide on a color and go buy the paint. Wish you had a computer to pre-visualize. Abandon the project.
6. Call random people. Forget Facebook and twitter. Forget Skype. Pick up the darn phone and call everyone you know. Chances are that they are too busy with Facebook and Twitter but try anyways. Leave a perky message for them.
7. Organize pantry. Cannot tell you how nice it is to have a pantry that is alphbetized.
8. Pontificate. Ask yourself what you really think about important issues. Is Jessica Simpson really fat? What exactly is Paula Abdul on? Grab anyone around you and express your opinions. Do not let them excape! Kepp pontificating with them as long as you possibly can.
9. Rearrange furniture. Get help and take out all the furniture in the house. Place it on the lawn. Change your mind and bring it all back in. Serve pizza to the helpers.
10. Watch tomatoes grow. And wish that your computer was working so you could install a web cam and watch your tomatoes grow at work.