Menopause

Ever wonder how menopause got it's name? Well maybe not. You probably have better things to do. But I do wonder about things like that. So I researched it and came up with the following.

The term was coined in 1856 by a woman doctor named Marie. Okay so I am totally making this up but play along with me. OK?

So Marie was a doctor a long time ago. She married the love of her life and had many children. She was a good wife and a good mother. She worked very hard. She juggled her career and her family life. She loved well and was well loved. All was fine and dandy for years except she woke up one day alone. The love of her life was busy having fun with his friends and the children had moved on. She had made endless sacrifices for her family and they had all forgotten about her. She gave them 20 years of her life and they did not even bother checking on her. She was pissed.

So she said the most profound words:

MEN!!!! OH!!!! Pause!

And so she paused to reflect upon her life.

She had done good in her life. She had raised wonderful kids and lived a good life. But...

Gone were the days when she needed approval. "How do I look in this dress?"

Gone was the neediness, "You complete me. Do I complete you?"

Gone was the clinginess, "When was the last time you told me you loved me? You do love me, right? You need me right?"

Gone was the endless desire to please everyone. Gone, gone, gone. Everything dissipated into a cloud of smoke and she looked at her life anew.

She was standing on her own two feet and was strong. She had become an independent woman. And she loved it.

No more bull sh%%. No more waiting for the phone calls to come or the gifts of affection. No more the need for the approval. No one completed her. She completed herself. And she was happy. She was secure.

She. Did. Not. Need. Men. She was a-okay.

Men. Oh. Pause before you say something to a woman going through this phase.

That's how Menopause got it's name. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

To all the men who read this blog, be nice to women who are going through this phase and be honest with them. Their BS radar is on a very very high alert. Don't give them BS and if you do, expect them to call you up on it.

And to the men and boys in my life, remember that I am armed and dangerous. I have a blog and you don't. Have a great day! Love ya!

PS: I like men. They just drive me crazy sometimes.