No No No!!!

An alert reader brought this to my attention so I had to share this list with you...

Top 10 things not to do at an office holiday party:

• Wear too much makeup. I mean Tammy Fay kinda makeup. This applies to men too. Only rock stars can wear eyeliner.
  
• Wear skimpy clothes and let the girls hang out. For men, unless you are working for a rapper, don't show up wearing rapper clothes with a ton of bing. Nope. Not attractive. Reeks of mid-life crisis.
  
• Carry ziplock bags and stuff it with goodies. Don't pretend it is for the dog. No one will believe you.
• Flirt with a coworker in front of the spouse. I mean how stupid is that?
• Ask anyone if they are pregnant. Including men.
  
• Do the macarena on a table. Period.
  
• Have a make-out session in public when everyone knows you are married with children.
• Puke.
  
• And last but not least, don't use empty wine bottles to fill them up with the beer so you can take it home. Trust me. Someone will catch you. On camera.
  

USB Massager...

Here is the cool USB massager I got for a Christmas.

It is available at Target stores for about 5 dollars. I am enjoying it.

Just hope I don't burn my computer!

I am using it right now as I write my blog. How, you ask, can I type and use the massager at the same time? Well because I am a typing with one hand and using the massager with the other hand to massage my neck. Just go with the flow. OK?

I highly recommend this massager. It is quite an inspiration when writing blogs. So what if it takes you ten times longer to type up a post? Think in terms of the quality...

Hmm... what is that burning smell?

BL;SDMCOWJFOWIJFIWJ!!! zzz......

Wine Opera: Part 8

New Year's Eve

On a cold evening the Purple Cowboy and the Good Daughter went to Monkey Bay for a New Year's eve party.



It was time for Leisure.


Since both the Purple Cowboy and the Good Daughter were Foodies, they met near the food table.


And had some Bangin Red wine.



"You look Magnificat!" The Purple Cowboy said to the Good Daughter.

“Let’s say Ciao Bella to 2008” he said.

And then he gathered her in his arms and kissed her.

And fireworks exploded everywhere like a Dynamite.

To be continued next Monday...

Embarrassing Stuff

OK. Cleansing my soul before the new year...

A while back, I wrote this. It is about embarrassing or mean questions someone asked me.

Well... I am not perfect and I have to say I've said some terrible things that caused me a huge amount of embarrassment, mortification, and self-loathe.

Really.

I know you think I am perfect and flawless and this hot chick who looks like Demi Moore.

But I've said some really terrible things. Just because I wasn't thinking before speaking. Urgh!

Example 1: I once ran into a coworker who I hadn't seen for months. She had a cute little boy in her arms. She introduced him as her son. And my reaction was, "He is a cutie pie! He looks exactly like you. He has your eyes and your bone structure." Her response? "Err.... I adopted him because I couldn't have a baby." OUCH!

Result 1: I wanted to quit my job and never ever see her again. But she decided to take some time off and quit her job. Maybe she wanted to avoid the awkward questions? Yuck.

Example 2: I went to a restaurant to pick up something and spotted a coworker "K". He had a beautiful little baby girl in his arms. So I walked up to him and said, "What a cutie pie!" And then shut up. I am smart that way. I learn my lessons well. "Thanks! My wife just had the baby." So I go, "Wow. Who do you think she looks like? You or your wife?" And he said, "Neither. She looks like her father.... My wife had a relationship with another man. But I still love the baby." OUCH! OUCH!

Result 2: I avoided K all the time. It became the focus of my life. It wasn't that bad because he traveled so much. I don't really care what people decide to do in their lives. But I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut. Yuck!

Example 3: Remember when those low waist pants were in fashion along with princess tops? To the guys who read my blog, that outfit did not flatter women. Only the zero size women. But we all wore them and it made us all look pregnant. So I run into another female coworker wearing this outfit. And she looked at least 6 months pregnant.

OK. Brace yourself. You may never love me after I reveal this. I stretch my arms, touch her tummy and go, "Oh how cute." There are no words to describe what happened afterwards. The ouches and yucks went to a whole different level.

Result 3: Quit my job. There was no choice. I still feel so mortified and full of self-loathe when I write about it. I wish the earth would open up and swallow me. WTF was I thinking? Even writing about this makes me sick to my stomach.

I bet you hate me now.

The bottom line of this post is that I did learn to keep my mouth shut. And never ever speak before thinking. So if we ever meet in person, don't be surprised if I never utter a word. I am terrified of what will come out. Sometimes I wish that there was a car wash for people. Go in there and all your sins and stupidities are washed off. But we don't have them and so have to live with our stupidities and demons forever. Oh well...

By the way, I do look like Demi Moore.

Just without all the plastic surgery.

Oh and you must love me!

Hot Brown

When I first went to Kentucky for a visit, I was told that Hot Brown is one of the specialties there. I am kinda picky about what I eat but someone insisted I "must" eat it so I did. And it was delicious.

So if you have Turkey leftovers and are wondering what to do, here you go. I have to warn you that this is not for someone who is on a diet. It is very very rich. And after you eat it, you will need a nap. So it is an excellent dish to cook if you have little kids. Feed them and then everyone takes a nap.

Son2 made this yesterday. He insisted that I help him and Son1 and hubby stay out of the kitchen. According to him, I "assist" him and they "take over". Yeah I can see that.

So I assisted him. Which basically means answering questions like "where is butter?" etc. and doing a ton of dishes. But it was fun cooking with him.

Here is the recipe in case you are interested...

The Hot Brown Recipe

Ingredients:
4 oz. Butter
Flour to make a Roux (about 6 tablespoons)
3 - 3 1/2 cups Milk
1 Beaten Egg
6 tablespoons Grated Parmesan Cheese
1 oz. Whipped Cream (optional)
Salt and Pepper to Taste
Slices of Roast Turkey
8-12 Slices of Toast (may be trimmed)
Extra Parmesan for Topping
8-12 Strips of Fried Bacon

Melt butter and add enough flour to make a reasonably thick roux (enough to absorb all of the butter). Add milk and Parmesan cheese. Add egg to thicken sauce, but do not allow sauce to boil. Remove from heat. Fold in whipped cream. Add salt and pepper to taste.

For each Hot Brown, place two slices of toast on a metal (or flameproof) dish. Cover the toast with a liberal amount of turkey. Pour a generous amount of sauce over the turkey and toast. Sprinkle with additional Parmesan cheese. Place entire dish under a broiler until the sauce is speckled brown and bubbly. Remove from broiler, cross two pieces of bacon on top, and serve immediately.

Xmas Status

I survived Xmas 2008! Yeah!

Here is some random stuff:

• Hosted 2 parties. One on 24th which is when we have the Christmas dinner and another on 25th. 24th dinner was going to be just the four of us but then I found out that the hubby had invited folks. So I scrambled and got everything ready. Which is no big deal because everyone chips in to do the cooking and cleaning. Then there was miscommunication so we had guests on 25th. So that was an informal party where we just warmed up leftovers, ate and then played Wii. Both parties were a lot of fun. It was really good hanging out with friends.
• Santa got a little confused this year and gave me... oye I am even embarrassed to say this... he gave me a.... mustache trimmer. I think he intended to give it to my hubby but ended up writing my name on the present. Thank you Santa but I do not have a mustache. But thanks for the massager that I can hook up to my computer. I'll certainly use it.
• Son1 and I woke up early in the morning on 24th and did a whole bunch of cooking and cleaning. Son2 made rare appearances in the kitchen, gave us hugs and went back to play his Xbox. At one point Son1 and I decided to take a break so we sat on the couch and watched TV. Son2 decided to sweep the floor at the exact same time. So my husband comes home after running errands and sees me sitting on the couch with Son1 and Son2 sweeping the floor. So he said, "Come on guys! poor Son2 is doing all the work. Help him out!" Oye.
  
• Son2 helped me wrap presents. He also made the most delicious macaroni and cheese dish.
  
• Son1 made a delicious cheesecake. Yummy!
• I love Judge Judy. Love, love, love her! Good thing I have to work outside home or I would watch her show all day long. She kicks butt. No one is as good as her.
• The photo you see is a sculpture called Music in the wind by Lapaso.

OK. Off I go. I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones.


PS: Santa, I really don't have a mustache.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Happy holidays!

Peace!

Happy Holidays!

I hope that no matter what you celebrate, you find the time to be merry.

And spend time with your loved ones.

Peace!

Christmas Bandit Tree Photo

Another photo of the Christmas Bandit Trees.

My son tells me that there is a movement going on right now all over the country. Some folks have taken it upon themselves to beautify the environment. They go around and mow people's lawn, plant trees, plant flowers etc. very stealthily.

So you bandits out there, if you are reading my blog, please feel free to come to my house and plant some trees in my backyard. Or redo the landscape. Or rake the leaves.

I did not have to look much around to find this.



On another note, Mytho wrote a version of the 12 days of Christmas song based on wine names.

Click here to check it out.

Wine Opera: Part 7

On a cold and dark night, the Purple Cowboy went to the Good Daughter's house like a Ghost Rider to deliver Christmas presents at her door step.


He went on his Electric Reindeer.



He wanted the Good Daughter to have all the lovely presents with Bells and Whistles.




So he bought her the entire set of Encyclopedia.



And a Rock Rabbit.


And hopefully the best, Four Emus.


If this wouldn't make the Good Daughter love him, nothing would.

Christmas Gift Suggestion 2

To all those who are still scrambling to buy Christmas presents, I have yet another suggestion.

This gift is for any one of these special people in your life:

• Male chauvinistic pigs
• Sexual harassers at work
• The in-law who always wants to grope your ass at a Christmas party
• The guy who always talks to your boobs
• The boss who lays you off for two weeks during Christmas so he does not have to pay for the vacation he owes you

Don't forget to sign "Best Wishes!"

Guys watch this space for some suggestions for you.

Ducks

If I was a duck, would I have to worry about shopping for Christmas?

Or laundry?

Or dishes?

Christmas Tree Bandit

In Austin, we have a Christmas Tree Bandit running around and decorating trees on the roadside in the middle of the night. In Austin, it is perfectly normal to find a masked person all dressed in black, in the middle of the night, armed with Christmas ornaments. If you run into one, just say hey and then walk away. Do not disturb the Christmas tree bandit. He may be armed and dangerous!

And then there are copy cat bandits. They too come in the middle of the night armed with Christmas decorations. And decorate more trees. Right now we have about 40 decorated trees along the roadside. And it all happens in the middle of the night.

It is on my way to work so I enjoy and appreciate what they do.

But not the city of Austin. They think the bandits are defacing public property. They don't have as much of a problem with the decorating. It is afterwards. Who will clean it up? They think it is littering. Is it? The Christmas Tree Bandit cleans up his tree. But what about all the others? S/he can't really take care of 30-40 trees. Without being caught that is.

Carol wrote about it last year.

In Austin, the city motto is, "Keep Austin weird."

And Austinites go through great lengths to accomplish this.

What do you think? Littering? Weird? Uplifting?

And do you think I should go there in the middle of the night and decorate a tree with something like... empty wine bottles?

Nomination...

I am wordless today.

I am overwhelmed today.

I will ramble today.

I got nominated for 2 blogger's choice awards. One for photography and another for best blog about stuff.

Yesterday when I found out, I became a total wreck. Here are the emotions I went through:

• Thrill
• Shock
• Panic
• Panic
• Panic

I've said this before but must say it again.

That anyone would want to read my ramblings and silly stories is completely incomprehensible to me.

That anyone would actually read and enjoy what I write is completely overwhelming to me. When I get genuine appreciation from complete strangers, I tend to freak out a little.

Because some of my posts are good quality and funny and some are lame like, "Today I ate a chocolate eclaire." I mean how lame is that?

And then there is the wine opera. What the heck was I thinking? It is the silliest, goofiest, cheesiest thing I have ever written.

But everyone loves it.

And I have a great time writing it. And the adventures that come along with it. The adventure continues into February. Then what?

I feel I must redeem myself and maybe write a post about Nuclear Physics or something. Something brainy.

I have been blessed. I've made some great friends via blogging. And I cherish them.

I want to thank Jodi for the nomination. I feel so humbled.

On my blog, there are two badges on the top-left. You can vote for me. In fact, I'd like you to vote for me. The chances of me winning are slim to none but I don't want to be the blogger who gets like 3 votes.

Meanwhile, I'm off to vote for some other bloggers I love to read daily.

And read up on Nuclear Physics.

Wordless Wednesday

Moo Moo!

So I recently ordered some cute little business cards from a company called moo. They are probably half the size of an actual business card. They have some of my photos on one side and the url and address info on the other side. I used 25 photos to create 100 moo cards.

Let me tell you. They are fabulous. They cost about 20-25 dollars plus shipping for a hundred cards.

If you are into blogging or photography or something else, this is a great marketing tool. Everyone I give it to loves it. And someone asks, can I have one more please?

No one ever asks me for an extra business card.

If I ask someone (like at a wine store) "Do you want a business card?" They are like err... But if I ask them, "Would you like a moo card?" Their eyes light up, they smile and say, "Sure! What's a moo card?"

I am not affiliated with the company in any way. So there is nothing in it for me. But I wanted to share this with you. In case you are tired of scribbling down the URL to your blog.

Having used this wonderful marketing tool, I would like to say that the page hits to my blog have quadrupedal. Like I said, I would like to say.... But they haven't.

No worries.

I am in the building process.

And it is so much fun.

What about you? Do you do any marketing for your blog?

Am I totally corrupted by Corporate culture and only think in terms of numbers?

Wine Opera: Part 6

The Good Daughter was in a pensive mood. She liked Sweet Walter. And Justin. But the one who made her heart beat was the Purple Cowboy. He made her Spellbound.





She wanted to get married and live in a Big House Red.



With a white Picket Fence.


So her goats could run freely. Because Goats do Roam.





But it was an Irony.





The Purple Cowboy and the man who made her heart beat did not love goats.

And he lived in a Big House Pink.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Christmas Meme


1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Both

2. Real tree or Artificial?

Real

3. When do you put up the tree?

Dec 20

4. When do you take the tree down?

Jan 31

5. Do you like eggnog?

Nope

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

Can't remember

7. Hardest person to buy for?

Hubby

8. Easiest person to buy for?

Me. LOL. Oh ok... My boys.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

Nope

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

I have someone in my extended family who gives really bad presents. She manages to outdo herself every year. I've told her no presents but she doesn't listen.

Hey now I can blog about it! And post a photo:)

12. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

Favorite what? I don't understand this question.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Haven't really started major shopping yet. But I've ordered some of my calenders for the family and will pick up wine bottles for everyone else today.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

Not really. But some go straight to the Salvation Army and some straight in trash.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Candy Cane

16. Lights on the tree?

Yep.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Silent Night.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

At home

19. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Angel

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Morning

Weathered

Entry for Photo Friday.

Untitled

Dashboard View

So this is what my car looked like from the inside this morning. I had the hardest time getting it started. You don't want to know the details. But I can tell you that even cars don't know how to act in an ice storm in Austin. My poor car was confused. Yesterday AC full blast on and today all this ice?

I slept through the whole ice storm since it happened middle of the night. I asked my friend Carol this morning if it was sleet or snow or tiny hail. And she said, "It was serious white stuff. It came down all night. It was extremely windy too. It was so loud that I couldn't sleep all night. But it was big white stuff falling from the sky."

See how we Austinites are ignorant about this stuff?

I had turned on the TV in the morning but the Weathermen were all super hyper. Snow Event! Ice Event! Blah blah. So I muted it.

Anyways, I have started doing some yoga in the morning. On day 3, I am loving it. And I hate to exercise. Its been helping me with sleep problems. I've been sleeping through the night. Yeah!

I also got on this diet. I had a cold last week and have recovered from it other than the fact that I squeak instead of talking. But I drank a ton of homemade soup during that time. And loved it.

So I decided to quit all meat and carbs this week. And I did a great job! I think. Here is my status:

Day 1: fabulous no problem.
Day 2: I had a dream about a huge baked potato with tons of bacon. It was as big as me and I was lying next to it. Don't even try to interpret this one my friends:)
Day 3: I crashed.
I had the best lunch today. Healthy but with meat and potatoes. Yeah! Yummy!

So there you are.

Are you regretting my commitment to blog every day in December as much as I am?

Ice

So yesterday I went to work wearing a cotton shirt and cotton pants. The temperature went up to 71 degrees. I had AC on in my car.

And then the cold front came. This morning, I wake up to this.

There is sleet everywhere. And no one in Austin except me knows how to drive in this weather. I don't put makeup on or talk on the phone while I am driving in this weather.

Folks up north don't have an idea how hard it is to keep up with weather like this. Shorts and a tank top yesterday and lots of woolen clothes today.

Where is my jacket? Where are the gloves?

No idea.

Folks in sunny states like Florida and California don't have to deal with this. They have consistency.

In Austin it is so erratic.

So off I go. It is going to be a long drive to work.

Littering

Nicole inspired me to post this.

If you are drinking beer in the park, can you please throw the trash away? How hard can that be?

Wine Opera: Part 5

On a dark, dark night, the Purple Cowboy prayed to Saint Amour.


"I have made so many mistakes with the Good Daughter. Please help me! Zinfatuation has hit me so badly that I can't think straight anymore. I need your help."





"I am in love with the Good Daughter and she is Cabulous."





"Unlike others, I don't know how to use sweet love Jargon."


"The Good Daughter is a Perfect 10."





"She is more beautiful that Marilyn Merlot."





"The Good Daughter holds my heart captive. I have tried everything but failed. Give me the Good Daughter. Oh dear Saint Amour, give me El Miracle!"






Stay tuned for more wine soap opera coming up next Monday.

Christmas Gift Suggestion 1

Don't know what to gift someone who has everything? Well I have a suggestion for you.

A Belly Button Flower! It glows, it shines, and it is absolutely free! I mean you can buy it with redemption points of course.



I got this at Dave and Busters. It is one of those restaurants where they have video games etc. I was lucky enough to go there for a company meeting. We meet, eat and then play games. So I cashed in my gift card and played one of those slot machines. Essentially I was just sitting around, chatting with a friend and dropping coins into the machine. And guess what? I got all these tickets/points!

So I cashed them in for this cute little thingy. It even comes with stickers so you can easily stick it into your belly button. And batteries. Yep. They last very long.

Check this out. That's the back of the package. See how happy that lady looks with the button? Look at her go go go!




Maybe you should get one for yourself and another one for the pesky, hard to gift relatives.

You could show up to a family Christmas party with one of these. Wouldn't that be a blast? I mean come on. It is your duty to shake things up a little bit to make it lively. Why not show up with a glowing belly button thingy?

And I insist that you strike a pose like the woman in the picture. How often do we pose like that? Not enough.

So here is my homework assignment to you all:

• Get the belly button thingy
• Wear it to a Christmas party
• Strike a pose

Oh and one more thing.

Do not swallow the belly button thingy!!!

Cold...

Got a head cold. Taking meds and sleeping today. Will catch up with my favorite blogs and comments later on.

Have a fabulous weekend!

zzzzzz.....

For love of beer

I got an irate email from a beer drinker yesterday. And I must share it with you…

Dear Scriber’s Web

Why are you promoting only wine? Drinking Beer is good for the economy too. You need to provide equal time to beer. You are not being fair to the beer drinkers and the beer manufacturers everywhere in the world. You must correct these actions immediately.

Unhappy,
John

Dear Unhappy John,

You are correct. I am devoting more time to wine because I like them more and have lots of fun gathering wine names. Beer is less palatable to me and certainly does not have as amusing names as wine. It is my blog and I will write what I will write.
But, being nice, I will dedicate the following photograph to beer drinkers everywhere

Carry Beer. Not Guns.





Happy now?